Night Before A Goes Back to School

Just back from picking up the rental car to take Anthony back. A "small" SUV. Which I still cannot quite drive very well. But Mark makes me!

Seems like a hybrid. Could not sort out how to turn on ... had to have your foot on the break and push a button. Forgot that you need to have your foot on the break for an automatic.

Tried Avis this year. As slow as anyone else. Maybe it is just Reagan National!

Went for a walk with Anthony and Sydney (and Miss Pressley) after I got home. A actually talked to me some. I am going to miss him so much :-( Bit I am guessing not as much as Sydney and Miss Pressley ... they don't understand .... Mark made A a nice steak for dinner ... I think in his own way Mark is sad.

Anthony did not go to the dentist as he was supposed to. Apparently has not gone for two years. So Mark is not giving him his food money till he does. I was in a tizzy about it but as it turns out A has more money than I do. I guess I need to chill. I did make the dentist appointment myself ... for Wed before Thanksgiving.

I am sad in a different way that in prior years. Now I am thinking ... will A ever live at home again? He could get a job somewhere else next year. But he does have plane tickets for Thanksgiving and he'll be home for Christmas :-)

Oh and I made Mark mad last night. Apparently I don't know the value of air miles :-) I know I should have been nicer about him booking our Spring vacation ... but it just seems so hard for him to forgive and forget. To me I can pretty much forgive people pretty instantly. I think it must be because I get violently upset and then let go.

I guess the good news is Vince DeKime is visiting Sunday. Gonna go to church at 7:15 and then we'll got for a hike at 9. Has been ages since we've done the 10 mile hike. Hope Mark is up to it ..... getting a mani in the late afternoon. And lots of activities next week. And off to Oslo Aug 30. Poor Sydney .-. he will be so lonely :-( I guess the good news is only 60 something days till we go to Guadeloupe :-)

Where has the summer gone?

Seems like yesterday we rented an SUV and drove to Pittsburgh to pick up Anthony for the summer. Right after my Hopkins check up. All "right" with the world. The picture sitting on the couch all smiles.

Out of nowhere Anthony's summer break is over. He goes back Saturday. He finished work last Friday so today I drove myself to work. It was easier than I thought ... though still hard. How easy it is to get used to him being around and how hard to let go once more! This year seems harder. I keep asking myself if this is the last year he'll be home for the summer. I do wish the best for him ... an internship at Nintendo, or Google or Microsoft. Or anywhere where he'll be challenged and get to do what he wants. What I wish for him is that saying .... if you love what you do you will never work a day in your life. But not having him home for a long time will be so hard. Mark seems prepared for it. I am not.

We did book Thanksgiving plane tickets and I am sure he'll be home at Christmas. Poor Sydney wold be devastated if he did not get to see his brother some. They love each other so much. Sometimes I wonder if I should let Sydney move with Anthony when college is over. But then what was the point of a "replacement"?

Has been a hard couple of weeks. Houieda moved yesterday. I cannot help but be a bit mad at her. I just do not understand why she moved. I guess it is step 1 of a longer plan. Hard to think Roma will not be coming over every day. Sometimes I would get annoyed .... but Roma had a way of looking at you that melted you. You can see his soul. He and Anthony were laying together like they used to when Anthony took care of him every day ... before Sydney. Before Anthony left for school. Broke my heart -- I know Anthony is so attached to Roma but he just does not show much emotion. Hard to believe he is my child -- I am so dramatic.

Mark booked our Spring vacation. To Syria and Lebanon. See some of the places where St Paul and others walked. I should be happy. My child is doing great at school. Just 6.5 years left to work. Exciting vacations on the horizon. But yet I feel so sad ... not ready for the changes ... ever coming. This feeling of something coming my way that I will not be able to handle.

I need a pep talk from Maggie. I have not talked to her since before I went to Greenland. August 23rd is "Lost Friends" day. Maybe I will call Becky. Though I suspect I will waste the day on Facebook.

Better go read the thesis for the defense I am sitting on tomorrow!

Back Home

The alarm came much too soon. 6 AM. I had to tell Mark everything that happened during the night (through hysterical laughter). I thought we were going to have the nice free Hilton breakfast. But Mark made us go check in instead. He then got mad because I was not fast enough getting out my Star Alliance Gold Card and got sent to “the Business Lounge” instead. Which was nice enough. But he moaned about it endlessly. Slept through most of the flight back to Frankfurt. Made it to the lounge. We saw a puppy travelling with his owners. Cannot wait to see Sydney.
Got into our lovely business class seats. For some reason Mark gave me his iPod like device (which isn’t an iPod – some sorta of a Sonny thing instead). And then there were sad songs. And he held my hand. So I again started thinking something is wrong. I just cannot imagine life without him. Almost started to cry. I have got to get a grip. He sure acts weird though. Fell asleep eating his lunch (or maybe he was asleep – he sure seemed unable to order his food). The flight is going by so fast (I’m using Mark’s Netbook – these seats have power – totally awesome). I have got to calm down – it is like I can never enjoy anything because I am thinking of some doom scenario. Like Maggie says her Dr. says – think of the good outcome. And a headache is most often just a headache – not a brain tumor. But sometimes doom scenarios happen ….. OK I will watch Shopaholic and get my mind off things. Nothing is wrong right now. I’m seating in business class. En route home after a lovely trip. Will soon see my puppy. Of course Mark is going to Denver next week. Which makes me sad. And Anthony will soon be going back to school. And he won’t let me visit. Arghhhh – I need therapy!
but the good news is upon arrival home Carter is visiting ... 1.5 Cavs. Mark looks awful though. Maybe some sleep will help him.