Where has the summer gone?

Seems like yesterday we rented an SUV and drove to Pittsburgh to pick up Anthony for the summer. Right after my Hopkins check up. All "right" with the world. The picture sitting on the couch all smiles.

Out of nowhere Anthony's summer break is over. He goes back Saturday. He finished work last Friday so today I drove myself to work. It was easier than I thought ... though still hard. How easy it is to get used to him being around and how hard to let go once more! This year seems harder. I keep asking myself if this is the last year he'll be home for the summer. I do wish the best for him ... an internship at Nintendo, or Google or Microsoft. Or anywhere where he'll be challenged and get to do what he wants. What I wish for him is that saying .... if you love what you do you will never work a day in your life. But not having him home for a long time will be so hard. Mark seems prepared for it. I am not.

We did book Thanksgiving plane tickets and I am sure he'll be home at Christmas. Poor Sydney wold be devastated if he did not get to see his brother some. They love each other so much. Sometimes I wonder if I should let Sydney move with Anthony when college is over. But then what was the point of a "replacement"?

Has been a hard couple of weeks. Houieda moved yesterday. I cannot help but be a bit mad at her. I just do not understand why she moved. I guess it is step 1 of a longer plan. Hard to think Roma will not be coming over every day. Sometimes I would get annoyed .... but Roma had a way of looking at you that melted you. You can see his soul. He and Anthony were laying together like they used to when Anthony took care of him every day ... before Sydney. Before Anthony left for school. Broke my heart -- I know Anthony is so attached to Roma but he just does not show much emotion. Hard to believe he is my child -- I am so dramatic.

Mark booked our Spring vacation. To Syria and Lebanon. See some of the places where St Paul and others walked. I should be happy. My child is doing great at school. Just 6.5 years left to work. Exciting vacations on the horizon. But yet I feel so sad ... not ready for the changes ... ever coming. This feeling of something coming my way that I will not be able to handle.

I need a pep talk from Maggie. I have not talked to her since before I went to Greenland. August 23rd is "Lost Friends" day. Maybe I will call Becky. Though I suspect I will waste the day on Facebook.

Better go read the thesis for the defense I am sitting on tomorrow!