December 1969

Wow. What a day. When the day started little would I have guessed that before the day was over I would find myself back in Madrid, Spain on December 23, 1969.

I am trying to be nice and grateful about today -- the intentions were good and I'm sure there are many people that would have loved the opportunity. It was very nice of N to go way out of her way to get me an invite to an "Executives" forum when I am only a lowly Chief Scientist "Acting" in a "Executive" job -- she really has been ultra generous to me and I have learned so much from her the last couple of weeks. The folks at my table were very funny and nice and told great stories. Plus I love to watch KL in action -- I really admire her. Having said that the last time I felt so uncomfortable and out of place I was 8 years old and had landed in Madrid as a refugee from Cuba on Dec 23rd 1969 -- wearing summer clothes :-). As I was to enter the room the HR people said "you can't come in -- this is "Executives" only" -- not "Acting" people. Then they proceeded to make me stand in a corner while they greeted the "real" Executives. I wanted to leave so badly but I knew that would make N really mad and I did not want to disappoint her. So I stood there -- until they checked "my story" and then made me a hand written name tag that screamed "does not belong". They did make me a real one by the break -- which I hope offset some of the seriously bad karma they must have created. I think I may very well have the foundation of a story for the Glamour Magazine 2009 writing contest .... maybe I can still make it up to my high school lit teacher -- who was so disappointed by my going into engineering versus writing -- before my 30th class reunion next summer :-) In a way today was the first time I have been able to truly go back to that day and experience some of the feelings .... I really want to capture that in writing .... hope it holds till tomorrow or Sat :-) Funny how that can happen -- and it hasn't been for lack of trying -- my analytical side always got in the way before of really feeling that day again. I really was not at the Holiday Inn today -- the person that has experienced all the things that I have in the last 39 years could not possibly have been even slightly perturbed by the experience. But the child I used to be is a different story -- I have been crying for the last two hours and definitely NOT about today. The worse truly is the better .... somehow I don't think this is what the Mastermind of this forum had in mind .... but I will not write him a Thank You note -- way too Breakfast Club!